Gossip comes in many different forms:
- Spreading rumors about someone
- Telling lies about someone
- Speculating about someone’s motives
- Over-sharing details
- Telling stories about someone that puts them in a bad light
Whether gossip comes from malicious intent or carelessness, the consequences are the same. Relationships are damaged. Feelings are hurt, and there’s no way to take back words. James compares the power of foolish words to that of a forest fire.
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
A single foolish sentence can create an insecurity in someone.
A prank gone wrong can ruin a reputation.
An over shared detail can permanently destroy trust in a relationship.
Your words can start fires which you can’t put out with more words!
1. a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.
We all have routines. We all have patterns.
- What do you do when you wake up in the morning?
- What do you do when you leave for work? What do you do when your spouse leaves for work?
We all have fixed routines we just follow every day. We never intentionally set this course of action. We never planned to repeat it, but we all find ourselves repeating patterns with little thought put into it.
Routines are neither good nor bad, but they can be both good or bad. That’s why it’s so important that each one of us are intentional about the routines in our lives.
Most daily routines are fairly harmless or helpful on any given day. A goodbye kiss on any one day doesn’t have a radical effect on your marriage. However, a year’s worth of remembering or forgetting your goodbye kiss does have an affect. A year’s worth of coming home excited to see your kids changes your relationship with your kids. But, a year’s worth of coming home and going straight to the study also has an effect on your kids.
I’m going to say this very simply. TRUST IS EARNED!
People shouldn’t default to trusting you just because you say you’re trustworthy. Maybe it’s cynical to point all of this out, but we live in a world where trust is broken.
- We’re lied to repeatedly by the people around us.
- We’re lied to by the media.
- We’re lied to by salesmen who swindle us out of our money to sell us junk.
- We lie to ourselves.
It’s not cynical to suggest that we should be suspicious in this deceit filled world. As much as I believe you should be skeptical of the world around you, there’s one person you shouldn’t be skeptical of…your spouse!
You should be able to trust your spouse is faithful to you. If you can’t, you must put new guardrails and boundaries in place to resolve that tension. When I say you should be able to trust your spouse, that is a two way street.
They should be trustworthy, and you should be trusting. If either of you fail to fulfill your part in trust, then things will be very difficult.
Here are five things you must not do if you want to be TRUST WORTHY for your spouse.
To be clear, most of these by themselves aren’t that suspicious, but when combined, it paints a picture of infidelity.
PREPARING YOUR KIDS FOR DATING RELATIONSHIPS
Of all the series I’ve taught, this is the most memorable. It is the series I have re-taught the most. It is the series which I have seen students ignore and end up with deep regret the most.
It is of course my dating series!
The truth is, and this is true of everything in ministry, the more parents are on the same page as my team, the more effective we are at helping students. When church partners with parents, lives are changed.
I pass along these resources to help parents better guide their children through the murky waters of dating.
- You have to start talking to them sooner than later.
- You are the parent, and that means you have authority to parent.
- Just because your child’s friends are allowed to do something, doesn’t mean your child should.
These resources were created to communicate to teenagers, but they provide the information you need to guide your child through a very tricky subject.
PREPARE YOUR TEENAGER FOR THE WORLD OF RELATIONSHIPS:
SERIES BOOKLET PDF – Before You Say I Do 2014 – FILLED IN BOOKLET
- SESSION 1 – Why This Series? (2014)
- SESSION 2 – When Can I Date? (2014)
- SESSION 3 – How Far is Too Far? (2014)
- SESSION 4 – Who Can I Date? (2014)
- SESSION 5 – The Beauty Lie (2014)
- SESSION 6 – What is Love? (2014)
- SESSION 7 – Biblical Manhood (2014)
- SESSION 8 – Biblical Womanhood (2011)
- SESSION 9 – The Bible & Same Sex Attraction (This is a message I gave on this subject, but not for this series)
- SESSION 10 – Awkward Sex Talk (2009)
- SESSION 11 – Marriage (N/A)
- SESSION 12 – Discussion Panel (N/A)
If you’ve been married more than a month, you know that most conflicts in marriage have much deeper roots than the immediate issue. A series of small decisions build up to a major conflict.
Each time you turn one of the tuning knobs on a guitar, the tension increases…and increases…and increases. If you keep turning the knob, eventually the string will snap. In the same way, conflict in marriage builds and builds until someone snaps at the other person.
The silly thing about this cycle is that it’s usually preventable.
- Most small conflicts come from either poor communication, poor expectations, or poor behavior.
- Most larger conflicts are predictable.
- Far too often, married couples are running with no relational margin.
You need a plan for how to communicate about life and money, and you need to make constant deposits into your relationship. Each time you have good communication, it prevents tension from building and, each time you make a relational deposit, you reduce tension.
Every marriage will have conflict and tension. Happy marriages have spent enough time pouring into the relationship that they can handle the conflict. Likewise, people in happy marriages do things intentionally to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Here are five suggestions (one daily, two weekly, one monthly, and one annually) for how to build relational currency, communicate better, and set better expectations for what is to come.